So the first time was originally to narrate to yourself? I don’t think there was a particular decision moment in recording. At the beginning it was really too much to talk about with my husband, it was too much to talk about with my friends, so i just needed someplace to put all of that fear and grief and uncertainty. I always had my phone in bed with me, so I just started recording video. All I had were these overwhelming emotions.Ī friend of mine had suggested that I record myself with audio because maybe at some point I would get better and I would want to write about it and that I should capture what was happening in the moment. And I was going through the worst thing that had ever happened to me, and suddenly I had no way to express that or possibly understand it.

My whole life, I wrote to understand what I thought and what I felt. I had always kept written diaries but when I first became bedridden, I lost the ability to read and write. JENNIFER BREA: It was not an emotional decision it was a practical one. LAURA POITRAS: Can you describe the first time you filmed yourself? Take me to that moment. The two reconvened recently for a conversation on the seemingly endless decisions involved in personal filmmaking and the journey that Brea traversed to arrive at the making of Unrest. Prior to premiering her film last January, Brea workshopped early versions of her project at the Documentary Edit and Story Lab under the mentorship of renowned filmmakers, among them Oscar-winning filmmaker Laura Poitras ( Citizenfour Risk The Oath). It’s all captured in Unrest, Brea’s Sundance Film Festival award-winning documentary.

Serving as equal parts evidence and catharsis, Brea’s self-documentation created the foundation for a vivid and honest portrayal that presents one of the first (and definitely the most profound) illustrations of M.E.’s devastating effects. (aka chronic fatigue syndrome), an incurable disorder characterized by unrelenting exhaustion that affects an estimated 15 to 30 million people worldwide. There was only one explanation the medical field would grant her: It was all in her head.Ĭharged with the task of diagnosing her own illness, Brea began filming herself-often in her most harrowing moments-and uncovered an online community of sufferers with experiences nearly identical to her own. An active Harvard PhD student at the time, Brea was eventually rendered bedridden and motionless, an official diagnosis proving frustratingly elusive. That’s where filmmaker Jennifer Brea found herself time and time again amid a desperate search for medical truths as she gradually fell more incapacitated by the symptoms of a mysterious illness. There are few attacks on the human psyche more disempowering than being told that your experience is invalid. There was only one explanation the medical field would grant her: It was Harvard PhD student at the time, Brea was eventually rendered bedriddenĪnd motionless, an official diagnosis proving frustratingly elusive. More incapacitated by the symptoms of a mysterious illness. Filmmaker Jennifer Brea was on a desperate search for medical truths as she gradually fell

Poducer jennifer brea